Bizarro is brought to you today by Embarrassing History Under Glass.Eight relatively unknown facts about pirates:
Pirates did not wear a skull and crossbones on their hats, unless they had recently raided a Halloween store.
While most pirates had parrots on their shoulders, some kept rodents in their pants.
Pirates wore a patch over one eye to save money on mascara.
Unlike their 18th century predecessors, modern day pirates do not attempt to look like Keith Richards.
Many pirates suffered severe bone damage by jamming their foot into a peg leg.
The symbol on the pirate flag, the "Jolly Roger," replaced the "Jolly Rancher" flag in 1704.
Legend has it that one pirate of particularly ruthless reputation had a spell cast on him that made him impervious to death. Many people believe that "Captain Iron Heart" still stalks the world today, spreading terror and misery with unparalleled blood lust.
As far as historians can determine, there was never a pirate called Tyler "Poopy Drawers" Cohen.
Don't forget today's contest at 7pm Eastern. Be there or be squarely elsewhere.
