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Chicken Chasers



















Today's BIZARRO has BEEN brought TO you BY Inappropriate CAPITALIZATION of NORTH America.

I'm a pretty cynical person and don't believe in a lot of hocus pocus. I don't believe in anything "spiritual," the power of crystals, psychic phenomenon, karma, etc.

Nonetheless, I think that many western doctors think they know way more than they do and would be wise to be more open to things like acupuncture, herbal remedies, etc. (I've experienced amazing and permanent results from acupuncture, a process I once suspected was complete nonsense. Some herbal remedies, too.)

Long ago, I eschewed any doctor who does not talk to me like an equal (with an admittedly vastly inferior medical education), explain things to me in ways I can understand, and include me in the decision making process of my treatment.

When my eldest daughter was still less than a year old, a pediatrician told her mother and me that, "she should be eating meat by now." He meant baby food meat, of course, but still.

Our response was something along the lines of, "if she needed meat at this age, wouldn't nature have given her teeth?" He stared at us as though we were disobedient teens and moved on to the next subject.

Unprepared for such idiocy from the mouth of a person in a lab coat, we were dumbfounded and just made our way out of the office, never to return.

My baby's momma and I were not vegetarians or anything of the sort back then, but we were not stupid enough to miss the point that if human infants "needed" meat, they'd have long pointy teeth with which to eat it. Assuming that mechanical blending devices that turn meat into baby-food-like goo did not exist in prehistoric times, that is.

Decades later, I came to realize that if humans of any age "needed" meat, we'd be equipped with hunting tools like claws, fangs, night vision, speed, camouflage, etc. Slow, flat-toothed, stubby-fingered, hairless apes with poor vision and smell make pretty lousy hunters until they figure out tools and language.
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